What’s in a name…

You might be wondering what the heck this blog is all about.  Is she going to talk about weather, her kids, doing housework or crafts?  Yes and no.  But mostly no.  There’s enough stuff about crafts, babies, and being a Mom out there.  Still, I’m going to talk about my daughter.  A lot.  She’s a big part of my everyday, and she’s funny.  I’ll try to offer a unique perspective and something different, so I don’t blend into all those facebook postings about life, kids and being a parent.  I don’t feel I need to be praised or liked for having kids, and I don’t believe that the whole world necessarily has the same joyous feelings about her accomplishments as I do-but writing can be therapeutic and I want to keep a scrapbook, only I suck at crafts (there will probably be no blogging about crafts).

I named my blog Tiara and Glasses for many reasons.  The most important reason is that I want my daughter, Anjali, to know that she can be and do whatever she wants.  There are no limitations-whether she wants to be a scientist or an actress, I want her to walk the world knowing she can take any direction or path she pleases.  Tiara and Glasses also speaks about being a unique and many dimensional person. It’s about not categorizing people, and letting girls know that they don’t have to choose to be either beautiful or brainy.  They can choose to be themselves, and that may mean combining elements that aren’t typically seen together.  Uniqueness, means creativity in defining yourself and not striving to be like everyone else or limiting yourself by categories.  These are the lessons I would like my daughter to grow up with.  Finally, there is one more meaning to Tiara and Glasses, and this is the current hyper-parenting obsession with having perfect children.  We want them to be and do everything, be beautiful, be smart, play an instrument, learn to swim, do yoga, and play soccer.  I want to make sure in my journey to teach Anjie life lessons, I’m not suffocating her with expectations, and that I’m letting her be her own person and learn independence and confidence.

All of these things rely on a very delicate balance, which makes them difficult, and it’s really impossible to be a perfect parent, though with all the stuff out there and this hyper-parenting culture  I really feel like every move I make could make or break my daughter’s future.  I want to work on a philosophy of parenting that’s about balance, in other words, not being a hyper-helicopter parent and not being your kid’s best friend, but figuring out how to teach Anjie the best lessons and hoping that she grows up to be self-assured, kind, intelligent, and independent.  Qualities that are much more important than being  the best at dance or violin.

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12 thoughts on “What’s in a name…

  1. Is this your first post? If it is, I can’t wait to read more. The writing–and the thinking behind it all–is first-rate. “Hyper-helicopter parent.” How perfect! Did you coin that term or has it been around? Especially loved this paragraph:

    “I want to work on a philosophy of parenting that’s about balance, in other words, not being a hyper-helicopter parent and not being your kid’s best friend, but figuring out how to teach Anjie the best lessons and hoping that she grows up to be self-assured, kind, intelligent, and independent.”

    What a great mantra to live by.

    • Thanks, yes I’m a newbie. Hyper-parenting refers to the current trend of planning out and controlling our children’s lives instead of just letting them be kids and grow into independent adults. Helicopter parenting is a similar idea where the parent is constantly over them like a helicopter waiting to swoop down and help them in any given situation. There’s a good book about this phenomenon: Under Pressure: Rescuing Childhood from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting by Carl Honore. Also, the CBC documentary I linked in my post is really interesting. Thanks for your encouragement!

  2. I wear glasses everyday. And I have tiaras
    That I wear at my job! Yay for you and your post!!! I encourage all genders to wear their crowns because we all deserve them;)

  3. Being a mom is hard enough – no need to incorporate all that stuff from society into it, too! I love this post and I love your approach with your daughter – yes, it’s ok to be smart AND beautiful or some variation of both! I only have boys but teaching them that the world is for them to define and not the other way around – football or pink fuzzy bears, it doesn’t matter!

    • Exactly, I imagine boys have several stigmas and stereotypes they need to battle as well, and it’s best to show our children (boys or girls) that they are loved for who they are and should feel free to explore and define their unique individualism. Once we have more kids growing up with this type of outlook, hopefully we can curb bullying and encourage tolerance.

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